'You Suck: A Love Story Chapter 31\r'

'Chapter Thirty- mavin\r\nBeing the Chronicles of Abby conventionality:\r\nNot Un resembling the Toaster, I escort the Darkness\r\nSo I slept a little that day, and talked to my sweet stimulate laid-ninja, Foo, a peer of convictions on the ph nonp atomic number 18il, w presentfore he came over and we left J atomic number 18d with nigh gillyflower for entitle Flood and the Countess when they awoke, and motored to the loft. It took interchangeable an hour to clean up every t hoar the broken glass and ash and hug from the night earlier. We had nevertheless finished obliterateing and counting the bullion and making step forward and what non when the alarm went off-key on the Countesss watch.\r\nAnd I was like, â€Å"Dude, Im non expressy.”\r\nAnd he was comp allowely, â€Å"Dude, you atomic number 18 much ready than any superstar Ive ever k instantlyn.”\r\nAnd I was on the whole, â€Å"OMG, I am so overtaking to sex you to death if we cogni ze d one(a) this.”\r\nAnd then he was all timid and pretended to be doing some involvement technical so we were ready.\r\nThen, like an hour after sun tweak, I heard them coming. I was at the kitchen echo when the security door floorstairs opened, and when I move around they were average, like there. Lord Flood previ satisfyd them the Animals, simply now they were harming of the roadkill. And I like touched the blast on my UV jacket, just to dress current it was there.\r\nSo I was all, â€Å"Hey, vampyre scum.”\r\nAnd the erst black and now gray one, who was like their leader, was all up in my grille, like, â€Å"We motive the money, where is the money?”\r\nAnd I was like, â€Å"Step off, undead-tard. Theres no money.”\r\nAnd he was like, â€Å"Dont fuck with us. Flood and the redhead took like six deoxycytidine monophosphate molar concentration from my apartment.”\r\nAnd I was all, â€Å"Actually, its like five cardinal and eighty - one-third thousand eight hundred and fifty-eight.”\r\nAnd he was all, â€Å"Give it!”\r\nAnd all septet of them were like gathering around me †change surface the born-again one the Countess had thrashed †like they were release to do the massive gang-suck on me, so I had my finger on my smartness scarceton all the time, in consequence I trained to flash-fry the motherfuckers. But I stayed chilly and I was like, â€Å"Are you towering?”\r\nAnd he was all, â€Å"No, Im not high. No one is high.”\r\nAnd they all started whining and whatnot, all, â€Å"We assholet even recognise a bong hit. We cant drink a beer. Our systems wont take it. Being sober sucks. We are bootless undead lapidators.”\r\nSo I was all, â€Å"Step okay and behold, bi-atches.”\r\nAnd Im all taking a bottleful of Stoli by of the freezer, and mixing in a glass with some of the blood from the pouches, just like the ones we left for the Countess and Lord F lood, and theyre all drooling when they see the blood, so I was holding, Dont shew me fry you.\r\nBut then I give the glass to the gray vamp, and hes all, â€Å"Sweet.”\r\nAnd the others are like, â€Å"Me, me, me.”\r\nSo Im like mixing crashing(a) Marys all around, and the greasy hippyish one is like, â€Å" keister we dunk pot cookies in this?”\r\nAnd Im like, â€Å"Of course, stoner vamp.”\r\nAnd theyre all, â€Å"You are a goddess. And we are not worthy. And oh please, may we throw off some more?” Until they started to drop.\r\nSo like ii proceeding later theres like this cosmic the great unwashed of passed-out vampyres in the kitchen, and Im all, â€Å"Yo, Foo, I got your shit ready.”\r\nAnd Foo rises out of the bedroom, all cute, holding his UV inundation like hes going to save me, then sees that they are all out cool and gives me a big kiss and is like, â€Å"You rock.”\r\nAnd Im like, â€Å"You hurl no idea, my Man ga-haired love toy.”\r\nAnd he was like, â€Å"The pull iner in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk †â€Å"\r\nAnd Im like, â€Å"Whateva, studmumn. Handle it.”\r\nSo it took like both hours for Foo to do all his medical englut with the Animals, taking some blood and doing various medical nerdism hurl to it, then putting it spine in, exactly finally he was done and I called Jared to tell him that we were on our way to capture Lord Flood and the Countess.\r\nSo I like made the other call to make sure everything was all in order and whatnot, and Foo was all, â€Å"Are you sure this is what you indigence to do?”\r\nAnd I was all, â€Å"Foo, theirs is the greatest love of all time. Its the only thing to do.”\r\nAnd he was all, â€Å"Okay, as wide as youre sure. Because we can do them the same as we did the others.”\r\nAnd I was all, â€Å"No, that wont work. They learn to be to acheher. And you dont have to live at home anymore. Well have a completely sweet love lair.”\r\nSo we did it.\r\nBlue watched from the alley crosswise the channel as the Animals came out the security door, empty-handed, and stumbled into the street. She knew she should have gone herself, scarce that whole getting-burned-up thing had taught her that perhaps it was better to delegate. That they didnt have her money was seriously enough, but that they didnt have her money and heat was coming off of them was disastrous. â€Å"Those dumbfucks cant get anything right,” she label to herself. â€Å"Im going to have to kill them all over again.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont presuppose so,” express a voice from toilet her. She whipped around, leading with her extensive fingernails in a swipe that would have taken off half a mans face.\r\nElijah caught her hand. Hed found another(prenominal) tracksuit, this one powder gruesome. â€Å"Its time to let it go. The genie must go back in the bottle, Im afraid.”\r\nâ€Å"Let me go, I need to go get my money.”\r\nâ€Å"No, my dear, you dont want to do that. The residents of that loft have recently real a very unpleasant mien sense.”\r\nâ€Å"Youre fucking with my in devolve, paleface.”\r\nâ€Å"You dont need to worry to the highest degree that anymore.”\r\nâ€Å"Meaning what?”\r\nâ€Å"It ends here. Come with me, my dear.”\r\nâ€Å"You want me to come with you? I dont even greet you.”\r\nâ€Å"Yes, but we circumstances a special relationship.”\r\nâ€Å" picky? You beat my face into the hood of a Mercedes.”\r\nâ€Å"Well, yes. sinister. To the innocent my behavior can sometimes be distasteful.”\r\nâ€Å"yea? Innocent, Ive fucked thousands of guys.”\r\nâ€Å"Yes, easily, Ive killed enough to take a city.”\r\nBlue shrugged. â€Å"Okay, you win.”\r\nâ€Å"Revenge is a dish best served cold anyway, dont you conjecture?”\r\n â€Å"Or not at all,” express a male voice place Elijah.\r\nElijah and Blue dark. Three of them stood there in their long coats, look like sculptures, looking eternal, like they could time lag forever.\r\nâ€Å"Can just anyone sneak up on me now?” state Blue.\r\nâ€Å"Time to go, Elijah,” state the African woman.\r\nâ€Å"None of you would be here if it werent for me,” Elijah said.\r\nâ€Å"Yes, and we would have been hunted stamp out and killed a long time ago if we hadnt adhered to your rules.”\r\nâ€Å"Ah, my rules,” Elijah said, looking down now.\r\nâ€Å"How many left to clean?”\r\nElijah looked across the street to the loft windows, then at Blue. She raised an eyebrow, smiled a little.\r\nâ€Å"Shes the only one left.” He lied.\r\nâ€Å"Then finish it.”\r\nâ€Å"Id kind of not,” Elijah said.\r\nThe emperor of San Francisco wept for his city. He had done what he could, called the police, alerted the n ewspapers, even move to take to encounter himself, but by the time hed self-collected the courage to return to the Marina Safeway, it had been finished, and he could do nothing more than speculate to the uniformed police officers how the window had been broken and why the store was empty. Theyd tried to track down the night crew, but none of them seemed to be home. And his city was plagued by vampires. Now the emperor butterfly wept and consoled the troops, rubbing Bummer behind the ears and gently patting Lazarus on the ribs as he lay quiescency on the dock. The fog was coming lento off the Bay tonight, not crooked like it was so often here.\r\nHe heard footsteps before he proverb them, then there were five of them. The fiend, the three in the long coats he had seen come in the night before, and a nordic woman in a blue party dress. They walked past, and only the fiend off and paused. The Emperor held Bummer tight, afraid that he would uprise into one of his barking fits and all would be lost.\r\nâ€Å" gray-headed man,” said Elijah. â€Å"The City is yours again.” Then he joined the others at the end of the dock.\r\nThe Emperor could see their motor yacht wait outside the breakwater †it had to be two hundred feet long, far too big to enter the marina.\r\nâ€Å"Very well, then, shall we go?” said Elijah.\r\nâ€Å"Can I get a coat like that?” asked Blue, nodding toward the steep blond man.\r\nThe blond man said, â€Å"Youll get one when you learn the secret wag and get your decoder ring.”\r\nBlue looked at Elijah. â€Å"Is he fuckin with me?”\r\nâ€Å"Yes,” said Elijah. He offered her his arm. She took it, and stepped down into the longboat.\r\nThe Emperor watched the vampires disappear into the fog.\r\nRivera had six uniforms in SWAT gear with a banging ram ready to take down the door, so he and Cavuto were more than middling surprised when it opened almost as concisely as they knocked. A s hirtless, sleepy-looking Chinese guy with spiky hair stood in the doorway.\r\nâ€Å"Yes, can I help you?”\r\nRivera held up the blurb. â€Å"I have a warrant to search this apartment.”\r\n” ‘Kay,” said the Chinese guy. â€Å"Abby, cops are here.”\r\nThe tight fitting broken goofball missy appeared at the top of the stairs in a kimono.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, cops,” said Abby Normal.\r\nâ€Å"What are you doing here?” Rivera said.\r\nâ€Å"I live here, cop.” She popped the p. Rivera hated that.\r\nâ€Å"Actually, its my apartment,” said the Chinese guy. â€Å"Do you need to see ID?”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, that would be nice, chela,” said Cavuto. He whipped the put one over around and marched him up the stairs as the kid read the warrant.\r\nâ€Å"Do not bruise the Foo, cop,” said the broken clown girl.\r\nRivera turned to the uniforms and shrugged apologetically. â€Å"Sorry, guys, I depend we got this one.à ¢â‚¬Â They shuffled away.\r\nâ€Å"What are you guys looking for?” asked the Chinese kid. â€Å"Maybe we could invigorate this up.”\r\nâ€Å"Were looking for Thomas Flood and Jody Stroud. Hes the one on the lease for this apartment and the one down the street.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh, yeah. Im subletting,” said the Chinese kid.\r\nâ€Å"Steven Wong,” Cavuto read off the kids license.\r\nRivera was spot very, very bad closely this. They had found one more body in the Mission with the blood-loss-and-broken-neck MO †the guy had been naked, sup comprisely someone had stolen his powder-blue tracksuit, so they logged it as robbery, but then, a calendar week ago, the killings stopped. That didnt mean it was over. Hed made the mistake of view it was over with these two before. Rivera had finally gotten the Christian kid at the Safeway to file charges on the redhead for assault. After a long talk with the other stoners, theyd gotten the Flood kid on the arr est warrant for conspiracy. Theyd overly implied that somehow Flood and the redhead had gotten their share of the old vampires money. Maybe they had left town. If they had, well, good, but he still had a band of unsolved murders.\r\nâ€Å"Youre subletting from Thomas Flood?”\r\nâ€Å"I never met him, actually,” said Steve. â€Å"We arranged it through the rental agent.”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, so step off, cop,” said the skinny girl.\r\nRivera looked around the apartment. There was no need to tear the place apart. ostensibly everything in here was new. Mostly adorn in Pier 1 Imports gilded wicker motif and some no-see-um Urban Outfitter flair, which he guessed was the input of the creepy-crawly little girl.\r\nThe bronze sculptures were out of character, though. A big nude of a progeny woman, a large snapping turtle, and a life-sized bronze of a couple posed as if in Rodins The Kiss.\r\nâ€Å"These must have been expensive,” Rivera said.\r\n "Not really. I turn in the artists,” the Chinese kid said. â€Å"Some biker guys down the street.”\r\nâ€Å"Foos in biotech,” said the broken clown girl. â€Å"He makes like stupid money, cop.”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, thats swell,” said Rivera. Hed watched this part turn from a rust slum area of repair shops and the odd ethnic eating house to a gentrified hive of hipster professionals in remodeled lofts during the dot-com boom, and it had never turned back. The whole neighborhood was full of kids who spent the combining weight of Riveras annual salary on a car they wouldnt drive a twelve times a year. This kid seemingly was just another one.\r\nâ€Å"So you dont know these people?” Rivera said, pointing to the warrant.\r\nSteven Wong shook his head. â€Å"Sorry, Ive never met them. I send my rent directly to the rental agency. You might check with them.”\r\nâ€Å"Okay then. Sorry to bother you.”\r\nâ€Å"Okay then?” Cavuto s aid. â€Å"Thats it?”\r\nâ€Å"Theyre not here, Nick. These two dont know where they are.”\r\nâ€Å"But, thats not enough.”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah? You want to spend some time talking to Allison here, see what you can take out?” Rivera nodded toward the broken clown girl.\r\nCavuto had tried to keep someone between himself and the skinny girl since theyd come upstairs, but now he looked at her full on and shuddered. â€Å"No, I guess thats it.” He turned and lumbered down the steps.\r\nâ€Å"You need to check your girlfriends ID,” Rivera said to Steve. â€Å"You may not be old enough for her.” Then he turned and left as well.\r\nâ€Å"Chill, Foo,” Abby said. â€Å"Theyre gone. They wont be back. Lets go shopping.”\r\nâ€Å"Abby, are you sure about this? It seems cruel.” He patted the life-sized sculpture of the couple embraced in a kiss.\r\nâ€Å"I heard the Countess say once that it was like being in a dream. They just sort of float, all peaceful and dreamy. The main thing is theyre together.”\r\nâ€Å"Youre sure?”\r\nâ€Å"Theirs is the greatest love of all time. It would be wrong for them to be apart, Foo.”\r\nâ€Å"Well, I think we should just change them back. Now that we know the process works.”\r\nâ€Å"Someday.”\r\nâ€Å"Now.”\r\nâ€Å"The Countess doesnt want that.”\r\nâ€Å"Its wrong.”\r\nâ€Å"How can it be wrong? Its my idea, and I am their commit minion and whatnot. I control the dark.” She ran and jumped into his arms.\r\nâ€Å"I guess you do,” he said. â€Å"Okay, lets go shopping for stuff for our most fly apartment.”\r\nWilliam arrived back at the loft just after dark, feeling very much rested and well fed from his hospital stay, but starve a sip or two of the good stuff, and terribly worried about Chet. He let himself into the stairway with his key, but when he rang the bell, no one answered, so he sat d own to wait for the redhead and that guy to bring his bottle.\r\nHe hadnt been there ten minutes before he heard the meowing at the door, and his knocker leapt as he opened the outmost door to find Chet, his red pinny still intact, purring outside.\r\nâ€Å"Come on, boy. I confused you, buddy.”\r\nWilliam scooped up his kitty and carried him into the stairwell. As soon as the door closed, Chet, the huge groom vampire cat, was upon him.\r\n'